Small Favors
As you've probably discovered while reading this blog, we're all about finding the silver lining(s) of this process. And there aren't many, but they come once in a while.
Some—like the freebie excuse to get out of any unwanted social plans—are only mildly satisying: warding off one evil with another.
Some—such as Jody's excess unscheduled time now that she's on leave from school—are basically unwelcome: hollow victories, obtained at the expense of the cancer-free life we'd rather be living.
But then there are those rare occasions where we discover something unique about this period that make us say, "Man, I'm actually going to miss this."
Case in point: Jody's head is now virtually—but not entirely—bald. She has this residue of soft, downy, very-thinned out hair remaining on her head. It's all about half an inch long, having been shorn in anticipation of a complete baldness which never arrived.
When we're hanging around the house, Jody's head tends to be uncovered—one of the first things she does when she comes home is remove whatever scarf, hat, or schmatte she was wearing in public—and I often find myself following the inevitable and irresistible urge to rub it. Maybe it's kinda like the Buddha-belly thing, I don't know.
The thing is, feeling her scalp that way is really quite lovely. And when we're snuggling on the couch together and she burrows it up into my neck, it's unlike anything I've ever felt in our 16 years together. It's like being even closer to her than usual.
And don't misunderstand me: when her hair returns in a few months, I'll celebrate that right along with her.
But I must confess I'll miss this part of her that's brand new to me.
Some—like the freebie excuse to get out of any unwanted social plans—are only mildly satisying: warding off one evil with another.
Some—such as Jody's excess unscheduled time now that she's on leave from school—are basically unwelcome: hollow victories, obtained at the expense of the cancer-free life we'd rather be living.
But then there are those rare occasions where we discover something unique about this period that make us say, "Man, I'm actually going to miss this."
Case in point: Jody's head is now virtually—but not entirely—bald. She has this residue of soft, downy, very-thinned out hair remaining on her head. It's all about half an inch long, having been shorn in anticipation of a complete baldness which never arrived.
When we're hanging around the house, Jody's head tends to be uncovered—one of the first things she does when she comes home is remove whatever scarf, hat, or schmatte she was wearing in public—and I often find myself following the inevitable and irresistible urge to rub it. Maybe it's kinda like the Buddha-belly thing, I don't know.
The thing is, feeling her scalp that way is really quite lovely. And when we're snuggling on the couch together and she burrows it up into my neck, it's unlike anything I've ever felt in our 16 years together. It's like being even closer to her than usual.
And don't misunderstand me: when her hair returns in a few months, I'll celebrate that right along with her.
But I must confess I'll miss this part of her that's brand new to me.
posted by Zachary Knower at 9:18 PM
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