The Suckfest Continues (continued)
Well, better late than never.
The surgery is first thing tomorrow morning.
First thing as in we have to be there no later than 6:30AM.
Which means I should be going to bed right about now if I want to get a decent night's sleep.
Fat chance.
It's probably better to be sleep-deprived, anyway. That way I'll be too tired to hear my stomach growling.
For the past 12 hours, I've been subsisting on water, ginger ale, and Jell-O. And after midnight, I get to have bupkus until after the surgery.
But that's by no means the worst part of the pre-op suckfest.
I've had to spend the better part of the day [APPETITE SPOILER ALERT!] inducing diarrhea.
There are two main ways to do that, and I've had the keen pleasure of having to do both, thank you very much. By comparison, the SST was a delight.
So I've been spending the afternoon in close proximity to porcelain, watching lots and lots of TNT programming. Because, well, they know drama.
And I don't get enough of that in my own life, so I have to use a remote control to fulfill that need.
Actually, to be honest, the anticipation of the pre-op suckfest was actually worse than the suckfest itself.
See, a couple of years ago, I had to have a colonoscopy (one of the many things that fall under the category of "Oh, you've had breast cancer, so now you need to do this"). And, as those colonoscopy veterans among you know all too well, you have to be [EUPHEMISM ALERT!] thoroughly cleaned out beforehand. And the process is pretty similar to what I had to go through today, starting with having to drink this exceedingly revolting sludge.
Only last time, I had to drink two or three bottles of the stuff. (This time I only had to drink one.)
And guess what?
It made me vomit.
Fourteen rounds of chemo didn't make me vomit, but this stuff did. So you can imagine how bad it is. (Or maybe you know firsthand. So sorry.)
Needless to say, I had a horrendous time of it before the colonoscopy. So I was expecting the same thing to happen today.
But it didn't.
For one thing, there was no vomiting. My oncologist suggested that I pop an anti-nausea pill beforehand, and I'm sure that helped. Plus I'd heard that the stuff goes down easier if you mix it with ginger ale and pour it over crushed ice, so I did. Of course, it still made me gag—despite being camouflaged as some kind of perverted take on the cocktail. And I pretty much had a meltdown when the bottle of ginger ale exploded all over me and the kitchen in the process.
But I got it down. (Even though Zach had to cheer me on from the dry sidelines by the time I got to the last couple of ounces.)
And eight hours of TNT has helped to dull the memory.
I'm about to go for nine.
The surgery is first thing tomorrow morning.
First thing as in we have to be there no later than 6:30AM.
Which means I should be going to bed right about now if I want to get a decent night's sleep.
Fat chance.
It's probably better to be sleep-deprived, anyway. That way I'll be too tired to hear my stomach growling.
For the past 12 hours, I've been subsisting on water, ginger ale, and Jell-O. And after midnight, I get to have bupkus until after the surgery.
But that's by no means the worst part of the pre-op suckfest.
I've had to spend the better part of the day [APPETITE SPOILER ALERT!] inducing diarrhea.
There are two main ways to do that, and I've had the keen pleasure of having to do both, thank you very much. By comparison, the SST was a delight.
So I've been spending the afternoon in close proximity to porcelain, watching lots and lots of TNT programming. Because, well, they know drama.
And I don't get enough of that in my own life, so I have to use a remote control to fulfill that need.
Actually, to be honest, the anticipation of the pre-op suckfest was actually worse than the suckfest itself.
See, a couple of years ago, I had to have a colonoscopy (one of the many things that fall under the category of "Oh, you've had breast cancer, so now you need to do this"). And, as those colonoscopy veterans among you know all too well, you have to be [EUPHEMISM ALERT!] thoroughly cleaned out beforehand. And the process is pretty similar to what I had to go through today, starting with having to drink this exceedingly revolting sludge.
Only last time, I had to drink two or three bottles of the stuff. (This time I only had to drink one.)
And guess what?
It made me vomit.
Fourteen rounds of chemo didn't make me vomit, but this stuff did. So you can imagine how bad it is. (Or maybe you know firsthand. So sorry.)
Needless to say, I had a horrendous time of it before the colonoscopy. So I was expecting the same thing to happen today.
But it didn't.
For one thing, there was no vomiting. My oncologist suggested that I pop an anti-nausea pill beforehand, and I'm sure that helped. Plus I'd heard that the stuff goes down easier if you mix it with ginger ale and pour it over crushed ice, so I did. Of course, it still made me gag—despite being camouflaged as some kind of perverted take on the cocktail. And I pretty much had a meltdown when the bottle of ginger ale exploded all over me and the kitchen in the process.
But I got it down. (Even though Zach had to cheer me on from the dry sidelines by the time I got to the last couple of ounces.)
And eight hours of TNT has helped to dull the memory.
I'm about to go for nine.
posted by Jody Rosen Knower at 4:21 PM
3 Comments:
Jody,
I'm at work right now, and you had your surgery 4 and half hours ago. I'm thinking of you and sending prayers up! I hope the suckfest will dwindle today and tomorrow.
Here's what I look forward to sometime in July: I look forward to an outdoor movie night in CG with you, Zach and whoever else. Not only do I plan on watching the movie, but I plan on watching you eat some really good food and enjoying it, with no fear of medically-induced diarrhea, sludge cocktails or the toxic waste dump.
well this is a good any time certificate for ANYTHING you fancy to eat, homemade to your specifications. i hope by now you're out of anaesthesia and into a pint of Ben & Jerry's at least
please remember Ice cream can be good for you....it's almost a health duty
and I second christine
could that move be the godfather with selections of home made pizza, decorated by the participants?
much love, my dear, and i too am sending up all the mojo I've got
and I forgot to add, maybe this is a good time to revive fritz wine jelly as a dessert for summer
Post a Comment
<< Home