Come ON!
My brows and lashes are now officially sparse.
Actually, the lashes on my left eye are hanging in there, literally, but the ones on the right—and both brows—are in a sorry state.
I was therefore compelled yesterday to purchase two tools for which I do not remotely have the appropriate training, experience, or skill: a) an eyebrow pencil and b) false eyelashes.
I'm not sure what I was doing when all the girls my age learned the secrets of successful makeup application, but it's a developmental stage that I most certainly missed. And if I can't figure out the right lipstick color to wear (and I can't), you can be damn sure that I have no idea how to create the illusion of lush eyebrows with a soft brown pencil and some strange brush-like attachment. Make that the illusion of lush, symmetrical eyebrows.
I also cannot remember not to absent-mindedly rub said illusions while in public, which really detracts from any semblance of lushness or symmetry.
I have also never before attempted to apply adhesive to my eyelids. It might just be the most counterintuitive thing I've ever done. Also the least successful.
I have no idea how anyone a) gets those things on straight or b) makes them look remotely natural. Before I peeled the things off in frustration, I swear I could have passed for a camel.
Not an attractive one, either.
Actually, the lashes on my left eye are hanging in there, literally, but the ones on the right—and both brows—are in a sorry state.
I was therefore compelled yesterday to purchase two tools for which I do not remotely have the appropriate training, experience, or skill: a) an eyebrow pencil and b) false eyelashes.
I'm not sure what I was doing when all the girls my age learned the secrets of successful makeup application, but it's a developmental stage that I most certainly missed. And if I can't figure out the right lipstick color to wear (and I can't), you can be damn sure that I have no idea how to create the illusion of lush eyebrows with a soft brown pencil and some strange brush-like attachment. Make that the illusion of lush, symmetrical eyebrows.
I also cannot remember not to absent-mindedly rub said illusions while in public, which really detracts from any semblance of lushness or symmetry.
I have also never before attempted to apply adhesive to my eyelids. It might just be the most counterintuitive thing I've ever done. Also the least successful.
I have no idea how anyone a) gets those things on straight or b) makes them look remotely natural. Before I peeled the things off in frustration, I swear I could have passed for a camel.
Not an attractive one, either.
posted by Jody Rosen Knower at 5:26 PM
1 Comments:
Fake eyelashes basically SUCK unless you are being paid to wear them, you are a guy in drag or it's Halloween.
I'm with you, the few times I've had to wear them (even if being paid) they felt so unnatural and all I wanted to do was rub my eyes.
Good Luck I say!
On a serious note, I've been thinking about taking a one-day make-up class lately--any interest?
xo
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