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I have a severe distaste for corporate-speak.

Back when I was gainfully employed, I used to entertain Zach with terms I encountered at work—colorless words and phrases that I assume had trickled down from the latest business bestseller through the executive ranks before landing squarely in middle management.

I hated hearing about leveraging resources and managing expectations.

I did not want to know about slippage in timetables or about new initiatives gaining traction.

I cringed at the mention of anyone adding value.

And I most certainly loathed any discussion of bandwith. As in, "I'd love to help you out, Jody, but my team just doesn't have the bandwith right now."

I understood the reference, and I know the analogy was apt. I just found the term to be dehumanizing and the use of it to be pretentious.

So it truly galls me to admit that it is the best term I can come up with right now to describe how overwhelmed I am feeling in these waning days of 2006.

I just don't have the bandwith—either physical or emotional—to deal with it all.

I am a high-speed internet line reduced to dial-up.

My cache is full.

My browser is sluggish.

My images don't load.

My software is long overdue for an upgrade.

And my hard drive desperately needs to be defragged. (For the uninitiated, that is not a sexual reference.)

I have called tech support (aka Zach), and we are working to prevent a system crash.

I am sure there will be a scheduled network outage.

In the meantime, I am trying to download a patch.

Thank you for your patience.