Letting Go
Zach and I are still working on our apartment deconstruction/reconstruction project, and I spent a good deal of time today sorting through documents and memorabilia and all sorts of things I clipped from newspapers and magazines at one time or another: books I want to read, places I want to visit, restaurants and recipes I want to try.
We removed four bookcases from the apartment and could easily lose another piece of furniture or two before the place could be described as spartan.
As part of the process, I tied up yet another tower of unread newspapers and parted with a stack of books that I finally admitted I would never read (or never finish).
I still have an obscene collection of books, magazines, and clippings in my aspirational "to read" pile, but I am going to pare that down, too, as soon as time permits.
And Zach and I may finally bid farewell to our collection of Bon Appétit magazines—18 years' worth. (No, that's not a typo.)
I now have fairly well organized files for each of my current projects, which number far more than I realized. I've been feeling overextended for a while now, but sifting through all this stuff made it evident that I need to scale back my expectations and commitments.
I'm used to being prodigiously productive and efficient, so it's hard to admit that I've undertaken more than I can realistically handle. One of my watchwords for 2008 is going to be simplify.
The past year has been so relentless that I am more than ready to show it the door, but I realized yesterday that there have been real triumphs amid all the troubles. Our trip to Greece and Paris was spectacular. Finishing the house upstate was a major accomplishment, and turning it into a viable rental property (for now) has been a huge relief. Calling myself a writer and getting paid as one are tremendous personal and professional milestones. And making it through my annual battery of tests with universally "unremarkable" results is cause for great celebration.
Yet these very real victories did not come readily to mind, and I had to remind myself of each of them as I reflected on the past 12 months.
Because more than anything, 2007 will always be the last year I had with my dad.
And for that I will always curse and cherish it.
We removed four bookcases from the apartment and could easily lose another piece of furniture or two before the place could be described as spartan.
As part of the process, I tied up yet another tower of unread newspapers and parted with a stack of books that I finally admitted I would never read (or never finish).
I still have an obscene collection of books, magazines, and clippings in my aspirational "to read" pile, but I am going to pare that down, too, as soon as time permits.
And Zach and I may finally bid farewell to our collection of Bon Appétit magazines—18 years' worth. (No, that's not a typo.)
I now have fairly well organized files for each of my current projects, which number far more than I realized. I've been feeling overextended for a while now, but sifting through all this stuff made it evident that I need to scale back my expectations and commitments.
I'm used to being prodigiously productive and efficient, so it's hard to admit that I've undertaken more than I can realistically handle. One of my watchwords for 2008 is going to be simplify.
The past year has been so relentless that I am more than ready to show it the door, but I realized yesterday that there have been real triumphs amid all the troubles. Our trip to Greece and Paris was spectacular. Finishing the house upstate was a major accomplishment, and turning it into a viable rental property (for now) has been a huge relief. Calling myself a writer and getting paid as one are tremendous personal and professional milestones. And making it through my annual battery of tests with universally "unremarkable" results is cause for great celebration.
Yet these very real victories did not come readily to mind, and I had to remind myself of each of them as I reflected on the past 12 months.
Because more than anything, 2007 will always be the last year I had with my dad.
And for that I will always curse and cherish it.
posted by Jody Rosen Knower at 8:55 PM
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