On the Spot
I attended my 20th college reunion over the weekend, and it was a kick to be back on campus and to reconnect with people after so many years. I'm a reunion geek, so I love these events and always wish more people embraced them, even though I understand why so many don't.
Most people looked better in their early twenties than they do in their early forties, and that's one reason some folks stay away. Another reason, I'm sure, is that attending a reunion means having to answer the same couple of questions over and over during those stilted conversations with classmates you haven't seen in a decade (or two). And if you're not in a great place in your life, that can be a daunting proposition. Being overweight or going bald is one thing. Who wants to say they're going through a divorce or a layoff or a deep depression?
I hadn't really focused on this until I found myself in the throes of it, listening to other people's well rehearsed responses and struggling to figure out how much of an answer I should give.
Example: So, what have you been up to since the last big reunion (10 years ago)?
Typical Answer: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city], we've got [two or three] kids, and I'm still working in [same industry as before].
Variation: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city]. I'm still working in [same industry as before], and [spouse] is home with the kids.
Variation: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city]. [Spouse] is running a hedge fund, and I'm mainly home with the kids.
My answer is so different from these that I didn't know where to begin. It didn't seem right to recite our litany of past misfortunes. So I went with the sunny summary instead:
My Answer: We're moving to Los Angeles in three weeks!
Most people looked better in their early twenties than they do in their early forties, and that's one reason some folks stay away. Another reason, I'm sure, is that attending a reunion means having to answer the same couple of questions over and over during those stilted conversations with classmates you haven't seen in a decade (or two). And if you're not in a great place in your life, that can be a daunting proposition. Being overweight or going bald is one thing. Who wants to say they're going through a divorce or a layoff or a deep depression?
I hadn't really focused on this until I found myself in the throes of it, listening to other people's well rehearsed responses and struggling to figure out how much of an answer I should give.
Example: So, what have you been up to since the last big reunion (10 years ago)?
Typical Answer: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city], we've got [two or three] kids, and I'm still working in [same industry as before].
Variation: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city]. I'm still working in [same industry as before], and [spouse] is home with the kids.
Variation: [Spouse] and I are still living in [same city]. [Spouse] is running a hedge fund, and I'm mainly home with the kids.
My answer is so different from these that I didn't know where to begin. It didn't seem right to recite our litany of past misfortunes. So I went with the sunny summary instead:
My Answer: We're moving to Los Angeles in three weeks!
posted by Jody Rosen Knower at 5:02 PM
1 Comments:
Well, it works as well as size 12 did, didn't it?
Mom
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